Cosmo Challenge: While he's showering, ambush him without saying a word, get on your knees, and take him in your mouth.
If I didn't know any better, I'd think D. was in cahoots with the editors over at Cosmo who are coming up with these challenges. Because if D. were to list his favorite sexual acts, a shower beej would probably make the top 10.
We hook up in the shower fairly regularly so I decided to put a little twist on the challenge to make it more interesting for us. Instead of getting in the shower with D., I simply pulled back the curtain, knelt outside the tub, and went to work. (OK, this may or may not also have to do with the fact that I had just gotten a blowout and didn't want to get my hair wet.)
D. had gone to the gym earlier so I gave him ample time to, you know, wash his business before I ambushed. (I don't know about you, but I made the mistake of doing oral on an ex post-workout and it was not a pleasant experience.) I stealthily sneaked into the bathroom and pulled the curtain aside, flashing him a smile.
I reached for his junk then put my mouth on it. Then something surprising happened. He let out these really loud moans. I'm talking, Is something wrong? Should I stop? type of moans. He's not usually incredibly loud when we hook up, and definitely not right at the beginning. (D.'s more of a quiet moaner throughout and a "Ohhhh S." guy during climax.) I was taken aback, but I kept going because—get this—his toes were curled. And I heard from a friend once that guys curl their toes when they're either super aroused or about to climax.
And my instincts were right! He was loving it.
And I have to say, I was loving it too. One thing I like about giving oral in the shower is that the water helps keep things slick. So I can get one hand involved without any risk of chafing. (Aside: if you're going to give an HJ in the shower, I highly recommend using conditioner as lube.)
I did the one-hand-and-mouth technique for a little while then resurrected an old tip I once read in Cosmo about treating the guy's penis like an ice cream cone. Yeah, yeah, it sounds a little weird and cheesy, but it gets a great reaction. Hold onto his equipment with one hand and swirl your tongue around the tip. I alternated doing this and putting it in my mouth, and judging by D.'s continued moans and groans, it was a hit.
He finished and his legs were so shaky that he had to lean against the wall. (Or maybe that had something to do with him working out earlier, but I'm gonna take the credit!) I asked him later if it was perhaps a particularly good BJ. I didn't want to embarrass him by alluding to the abnormally loud moans, but he knew what I was saying. He told me it was just such a great surprise.
Sure, anticipation is great. But in the words of D., so is "getting into the shower thinking the most exciting thing you do in there will be exfoliating your face, only to find out you're gettin' head". Wise words, D., wise words.
What's the craziest place you've ever gone down on a guy? And what is your boyfriend/husband's sex soundtrack, ie what noises does he make during hookups?
Cosmo Challenge: Squirt some lotion on his chest and stomach, then rub it in using nothing by your bare breasts. Don't stop till all the lotion is absorbed.
If my boobs had a resume, the "Special Skills" section at the bottom would now read:
-Proficient in getting free drinks
-Accomplished in titty-effing
-Ability to one day produce milk
-Adept at making dresses and tops look sexier
-Trained in massage therapy
OK, "trained in massage therapy" might be a bit of a stretch (hey, who doesn't exaggerate on their resume?), but my tatas have talent!
I was going to go with another challenge today, but after D. and I showered post-gym, he complained that his skin was really dry and reached for the lotion. "No! Don't!" I yelped, startling him. "I mean, I'll do it! For you! With my boobs!"
(Sometimes I think D. and I should keep a notebook filled with all of our weird out-of-context quotes. Or who knows, maybe D.'s roommate already does. It could be a blog: WTFDidMyRoommateAndHisGFJustSay.com.)
I reminded D. that using my breasts to apply lotion to him was on our Cosmo to-do list and obviously, he was thrilled. He lay down on the bed naked and I brought the bottle of lotion over. Instead of squirting it on his body, I put it directly on my breasts (bonus: it was chilly and made my nips perky) then straddled him and leaned down.
Aaaand he squealed. And not out of delight. Because it was cold.
"Oh come on," I said, not at all sympathetically. "You're getting a fun-bags massage so you're not allowed to complain."
After a few more seconds, the lotion felt significantly warmer and D. went from tensing all of his muscles to relaxing. I felt slightly strange moving my breasts in circles over his torso and chest, but maintaining eye contact kept it feeling sexy, not silly. I also found it helpful to get on my hands and knees and arch my back to make my torso touch his. Much hotter then laying flat on him and just rubbing around, which I may or may not have done at first until D. laughed at me and said, "That's not how it's done." Which begs the question: How many times has he had this done to him?
D. ended up flipping me over so he was on top. And the massage/lotion application quickly turned into a happy ending. For moi. And that's when I realized the best part about using my breasts to apply lotion to D. It meant that there wasn't any lotion on my hands or his. And if you've ever been manually stimulated by a guy who has anything on his hands (lotion, cologne, hot sauce, whatever), then you know this is a major bonus. (I've definitely gotten irritated vadge from a guy who had hand lotion on. And I have a friend who got what she called "Bear Claw Vagina" after some guy went to town on her nether regions without properly washing the aftershave off of his hands.)
So now, I'm satisfied, well-moisturized, and not suffering from Bear Claw. All in all, I'd say it was a successful challenge.
Is your guy a boobs man? How do you "involve" your breasts in hookups? Have you ever had a hookup-turned-disaster, like my friend's aftershave incident?
P.S. Love that so many of you tried the last challenge! You were smart to go with full-sized doughnuts and not donettes!
Challenge 1
Cosmo Challenge: Slip a doughnut around his penis, and slowly eat it off.
Let me preface this by saying that D. does not have a small package. On a scale of one to porn star, I'd rate him about a seven. I only share this because I don't want you getting the wrong impression when I tell you what I'm about to tell you.
I used a "donette". In case you're not familiar with doughnut varieties, this is a miniature doughnut, about one-quarter the size of regular ones, and is usually sold in grocery stores or 24-hour stores and comes in a pack of five or so. In other words, this is not the doughnut that Cosmo had in mind. But I was determined to do this challenge first (basically I was just really craving a doughnut and I figured the calories didn't count if it was for "work") and those were the only kind I could find.
While D. and I got ready for bed, I informed him very matter-of-factly, "I'm going to slip a doughnut around your penis and eat it off." Since he's seen the list of 31 challenges, he had been prepared. He was not prepared for the donettes, though.
"Uh, that's not going to fit around me," he said.
"We'll make it work," I responded.
I pushed him down onto the bed, grabbed a donette from the package (which I had slyly hid on my night table), pulled down his boxers, and...placed the donette on the tip of his hard penis. (Who knew you just have to mention oral sex and doughnuts to get a guy revved up in no time?) I don't know how to describe it besides that it looked like a little hat. And really, nothing's sexier than a peen with a beret on, right?
I broke the donette in half and holding it around the base of the penis. I alternated licking the dessert and D. Then I took a bite of the doughnut and D.'s whole body went tense. Had the doughnut been bigger, I think he would have felt more comfortable, but he didn't seem to enjoy seeing my teeth so close to his member.
I ended up removing a piece of the doughnut and eating it then going back to oral. Which felt a little weird. More like a snack break than a sexy way of incorporating food into foreplay. On the other hand, I've never given a tastier BJ. And D. freaking loved it. He said it made the whole experience just feel different and like he didn't know what to expect next. If you have an oral formula and don't mix up your style much, I definitely recommend this. Even if the main oral event is the same as usual, using food during the foreplay part of it forces you to go at a different pace and use different techniques.
After we finished and we were just chilling in bed, D. reached for a donette and said, "Mmm junk food." (At least he didn't sing, "It's my dick in a doughnut" to the tune of "Dick in a Box"...oh wait, he did that too.)
Have you ever brought food into the bedroom? Would you try to doughnut-around-the-shaft trick?
Source 
